I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
