I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
