we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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