I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
