Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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