I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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