Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
