so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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