If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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