Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You took a bar mat shot.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
