looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
