DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
