What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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