to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
