On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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