It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
high people should be assigned attendants
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
