I wish I could punch you in the face.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
