Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
