meet me or not, i'm out of control
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
