Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
