break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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