i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
