just tell him i said nine months
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
