Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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