1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
