And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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