I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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