that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
