Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
