You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
