There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
