I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
