Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
