No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
