As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
