she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
