Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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