Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
