I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
