what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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