my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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