i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
