she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
