Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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