At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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