If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she smelled like a LAN party
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
