I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
