so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
