Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize