We're facebook friends in real life
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
