fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
