If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
