I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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