meet me or not, i'm out of control
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
