That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
