Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
