There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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