At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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