Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Buhtt sex?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
