I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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