He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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