Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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