dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
