Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
